exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
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