i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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