whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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