If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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