Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
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is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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