Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
