And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
