sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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