so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I could fuck to npr.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
