I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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