You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
