I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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