Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
