We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
