...so i touched it.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
