Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
