I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
