Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
