i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
