I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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