Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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