I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
