I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
