ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
This is my gift to your gina
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
