Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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