I hate your face
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
