Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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