Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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