So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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