Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
