I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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