We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
