so that wasnt chicken after all
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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