told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
