I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
