Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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