Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
