I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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