you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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