your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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