I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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