dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
