hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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