I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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