she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
