Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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