I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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