Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
