got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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