vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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