Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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