mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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