I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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