Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
