You really coming over, don't trick.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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