i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
