We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
