I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
nutella sex= disaster
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
