when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
