i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he was CRYING into my vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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