Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
