Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
