I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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