also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
