That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
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I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
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"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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